Terms of Service: The Rules of the Road

1. Acceptance of Terms

By accessing this website, you are agreeing to be bound by these Terms and Conditions of Use, all applicable laws and regulations, and agree that you are responsible for compliance with any applicable local laws.

2. Disclaimer (The "Don't Sue Us" Clause)

The materials on YourVacuumSucks are provided "as is". We make no warranties, expressed or implied, and hereby disclaim and negate all other warranties.

• We are not experts: We are just people who are weirdly obsessed with vacuums.
• We are not liable: If you buy a vacuum we recommended and it eats your favorite rug, we are sorry, but we are not paying for the rug.
• We are not your mom: Don't stick your finger in the brush roll. Don't vacuum up water with a dry vac. Use common sense.

3. Affiliate Disclosure

We earn money when you buy stuff.

• Amazon Associates: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. This means if you click a link and buy a vacuum, Jeff Bezos sends us a few pennies.
• No Bias: We promise that our greed does not affect our reviews. If a vacuum is expensive garbage, we will tell you it is expensive garbage.

4. Intellectual Property

All content on this site—the text, the jokes, the "Forensic Data Analysis" methodology, and the images of skeletons holding vacuum parts—belongs to us.

• You can: Read it, share it, laugh at it.
• You cannot: Copy it and paste it on your own site and pretend you wrote it. That is stealing, and stealing is bad karma.

5. Accuracy of Materials

The materials appearing on YourVacuumSucks could include technical, typographical, or photographic errors. We might say a vacuum has 100 air watts when it actually has 102. We do not warrant that any of the materials on its website are accurate, complete, or current. We may make changes to the materials contained on its website at any time without notice.

6. Links

We have not reviewed all of the sites linked to its Internet web site and are not responsible for the contents of any such linked site. The inclusion of any link does not imply endorsement by YourVacuumSucks of the site. Use of any such linked web site is at the user's own risk.

7. Governing Law

Any claim relating to YourVacuumSucks shall be governed by the laws of the State of the Internet, without regard to its conflict of law provisions.